Michael A. Singer: He is known for lacking alliterations. He once gave a talk called Maligning Malignant Moods. I remember that, a lesson from the ‘70s, Maligning Malignant Moods. Tonight we’re going to have a talk called Negating Nagging Needs.
Negating Nagging Needs. People don’t understand needs. They don’t understand needs. And in general, your friends, psychology, various disciplines and teachings, are really aimed at coming in tune with your needs, understanding your needs, copping to your needs, being honest about your needs, and then learning how to satisfy them. Learning how to find jobs, relationships, financial situations, et cetera; now that you have come in tune with your needs, that you can be a happier person, and a fuller person, and a more complete person by satisfying your needs. That’s the truth. I know it’s frightening to hear, but that’s your culture. That’s what you’re taught. That’s the underlying basis of what’s going on.
People break up relationships because they say things like, “My needs are not getting satisfied anymore. He or she used to satisfy my needs. Now they don’t satisfy my needs.” People leave jobs because they sit there and say, “At the time I took the job, my needs were different than what they are now.” And I see that. I’m very in tune with myself. I won’t discuss that anymore. Now we’ll leave that lying there where it belongs, and let’s talk about the truth.
The truth is very hard for people, very hard for people. But ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. The truth is like a sword. It cuts through things. The truth is you have no needs. Now people always say to me if I ever say that, “Well, I have to eat.” Not really. “I have to sleep.” Not really. “I have to breathe.” Not really, but I’ll give you those. He used to say "throw the dog a bone." That’s what’s meant by throw the dog a bone. You want that? You can have at it. You want to think that a need is a need to eat, a need is a need to breathe, and a need is a need to sleep and carry out your bodily functions and so on. That’s fine. You can have those needs. The body has needs.
Put that aside, because those are not your needs, guys. You don’t deal with those needs. You’re so far past those as needs. You need to not eat. You need to not sleep so much, all right? That’s the problem, you guys eat too much and you sleep too much, right? So then that result is -- that’s not it. But yet, there’s a lot of needs, and needs cause a lot of trouble. Needs are not natural. Needs are not natural. Needs are a sickness. Needs are a disease. And that’s the truth. They are not a disease of the body. They are a disease of the psyche. When something is wrong with the body, it behaves certain ways. It gets a runny nose. It gets aches, pains, can’t do things, it’s a problem. It’s a problem you have to deal with. You have to go to a doctor. You have to stop bowling. You have to stop playing golf. You have to get an operation. You have to do all kinds of things because your body is not okay, because your body has a problem. You don’t consider that good. You don’t consider that healthy. You don’t sit there and think you’re supposed to adjust your life around it, you’re supposed to fix it. That’s what you do with your body. I watch you all the time. Your body’s supposed to be healthy. You’re not supposed to be bothering. You’re not supposed to have aches and pains. And you go places to do what? To make it go away. To get it back to the state that you believe you have a right to have it in, which is the state of health. That’s all.
You first try to fix these things. You do not just say, “Okay, I have a runny nose. I wonder what kind of handkerchiefs I should buy from now on” or something like that. In the end, you might say that because you can’t fix them, but your attitude is this is not supposed to be this way. It is not natural. It is not good. It is a disease. It is improper, and I should fix it. Needs are a disease of your psyche. And you know what needs I’m talking about. I have to list them for you. Those needs, the ones you deal with every minute of your life. Needs are a disease of the psyche. They are a sign that the psyche is sick. If you have a need -- I’m going to get real strong. If you have a need for love, if you have a need for companionship, if you have a need for confidence, if you have a need for acceptance, even those, the big ones, it’s because something’s wrong. It is because something’s wrong. It is not that you’re starting position with your body is -- my leg is not working well, so I need to get into a relationship with a big woman who can carry me. No, that’s not your attitude. Your attitude -- I want my leg fixed. I can get into whatever relationship I want.
I’m not going to sit there and let my damaged leg run my life. If your psyche is broken, if your psyche is not healthy, if your psyche is not whole, you feel that. You know what it feels like for your leg not to be well. What does it feel like for your psyche not to be well? You feel a hollowness. You feel a hurting. You feel a pain. You feel an emptiness. You feel urges and drives and impulses that are uncomfortable. You feel uncomfortable. You don’t feel well. Just like your body doesn’t feel well, your astral body, your psyche body, your energy body does not feel well. It is not healthy. When the physical body is not healthy, it attempts to compensate for it. And it communicates to you through pain, and it does the best that it can.
Those are really, in truth, what the physical body does. If this leg is not doing well, it transfers responsibility to this leg. It attempts to compensate. What is a limp? A compensation for something that’s wrong. A limp isn’t fixing it. A limp is compensating for it to try to make it not hurt so much. So what the body does, because it’s very intelligent as an organism, is it attempts to compensate so it can continue going forward. And I’m stressing this word compensate. In other words, take energy from elsewhere, bring in other factors, change things to compensate, and adjust for what is going on. And it sends pain, all right? Just in case you didn’t notice something’s wrong, well they add some pain to it. Well, that’s very smart of it, isn’t it? You have to respect it for what it does. It’s an animal. It’s a living being. It’s a living creature. And that creature compensates and sends messages. Your body is stupid compared to your astral body, compared to your energy body. Now, your energy body is brilliant. That’s your body of light. That’s your body of shokti. That’s your of chi. That’s your energy body. That body is much more just like your -- just like your brain is much more intelligent than your liver. Even though the liver should be respected a great deal, the brain is much more intelligent than the liver.
Your psyche body, your mental body, your astral body, called your energy body from now on, your energy body is way more intelligent, way more brilliant. It’s a body of light. It’s a body of juice. It doesn’t even have the grossness of your physical body. It’s a body of intelligence. At chi that shokti intelligent. If there is something wrong with your energy body, it does the same thing, just at a very deep level. It compensates to try to be okay, to try to keep operating, to try to keep going. It has its ability to compensate, and it sends pain. It sends signals and signs of disturbance. So the consciousness can know something’s wrong here. How does it compensate? It’s so beautiful. Your energy is blocked. I tell you energy -- it’s an energy body. Nothing can go wrong with energy. Energy can’t get sick. Energy can’t do anything. It can only get blocked. There can only be a lack of it. You understand that? It’s not like a bone that can be physically broken. Energy cannot be broken. It can just be less or more. It can just be flowing or not flowing, like water. You can’t break water. But you can dam it up so it’s not there, and you can flood it so that it’s not comfortable, right? It’s a question of, more or less is, all you can do with water in the normal usage. Your energy body is just like that.
When there is a blockage to the flow of your energy, then the body is not well. Your healthy energy body is an even and open flow of showered energy pouring and flowing healthily and evenly and constantly through every single – we call them knotties(sp), these thousands and thousands of centers through which the energy distributes and flows. We call them knotties(sp). And of course, in acupuncture you have all of the meridians and all of that kind of stuff. Who cares? You don’t even want to get down to that level. You just want to understand. You do have energy flowing through you. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it gets blocked. When your energy is blocked, that’s the sickness of the energy body. When is blocked, both of two things happen. One, it dams up in the areas where it can’t flow and it dries up in the area where it didn’t flow. And that’s how you get your blockages and that’s why your meridians will tend to work in pairs where you will have a high and a low. You’ll have a meridian that’s too strong. It’s an excess. You’ll have a meridian -- if you study acupuncture, you’ll have a meridian that is low. And you have points that you can take, great low points and high points, set stimulation points, where you stimulate energy to certain meridians, and you bleed energy out of other meridians. You attempt to balance them. And that’s in essence what acupuncture is doing. The whole point being, your energy can become blocked. When it is blocked, there will be an attempt to compensate, to bring about a full sense of balance that’s better than what’s happening, and there will be a sense of disturbance.
They’re the same as your body. What does it feel like if your energy is blocked? Well, let’s take one meridian. Let’s talk about -- I’m not really talking acupuncture. I’m just using that term. Let’s say that energy coming up into your heart is not well, is not flowing well, it’s blocked. Well, then we need a compensation. There’s not enough energy coming up into your heart. You feel that. That’s what’s so funny. This is not mystical. Everybody feels that. You feel that. You feel it as an emptiness in your heart. You use that. My heart feels so empty since he left me. Ha! Far out! I don’t understand. There’s blood pumping through there. Where is this emptiness? Why do you use that term? I feel hollow. There’s an emptiness. There’s a hollowness. I feel like my heart is dropping. Have you ever felt your heart drop out from under you? You feel -- oh -- just like that, and then you don’t feel strong anymore. That is your shokti. That is what that is. So when it is blocked, the energy can’t flow up into the heart. And it blocks many different ways, and therefore you experience it in many different ways. Fine. It is disturbing, is it not? Your heart can feel like it’s catching fire. Your heart can feel like it’s being ripped out of you. Your heart can feel like it’s completely hollow. That is what I’m talking about.
So there’s the message of disturbance. What is the compensatory, the compensation attempt? You start to feel -- I wish I could say it but I can’t, because I would like to. Right now it would be a musical and I’d break out into a Righteous Brothers -- I need your love. Oh, I need your love. I was like you could just feel it, man. It’s so beautiful, right? That is a broken heart and we use the word, right? That is a heart that is not filled with shokti and filled with chi and flowing in a healthy way, trying to compensate for the energy that is missing inside of it. How do you like that? It may sound romantic. Maybe it sounded romantic that I got to get myself a big woman to carry me because my leg hurts. Instead of laughing, everybody said oh, that’s so sweet, all right? You could. You could consider that romantic. Oh, look how much they need each other. Isn’t that cute? No. It’s not cute, right? We should get fixed and be able to go about our business and, you know, not have to be together because my leg is hurting and somebody has to carry me. Likewise, what you call romantic, a great being called sick. You’re sick. You’re not doing well. If you need somebody, you’re not doing well.
People who need people are the sorriest people in the world, if you haven’t noticed. Just become a person who needs a person. Come back and talk to me about how you’re doing. How’s it work out? Never well. You don’t understand. The compensation that attempts to take place is I’m going to try to take your energy, literally. I’m missing energy flowing through my heart. I am lonely. I am empty. I am lacking. Instead of having the intelligence – and it’s not your fault no one ever taught you anything. Not in school, they never talk with us, nothing. Instead of having the intelligence to say what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I have energy flowing through my heart? I guarantee you, the reason you do not have energy flowing through your heart is not because Sally didn’t call you, or because Paul went out with somebody else. That has nothing to do with your energy, nothing. They are outside of you. They are other people, places, and things. They have nothing to do with you. Be serious. You don’t have energy flowing through your heart because you are blocked. And when you are blocked, the chi cannot flow properly. And when it cannot flow properly, you feel a lacking. And when you feel a lacking, because it’s intelligent -- this is all very brilliant -- your system doesn’t just limp, it asks us to do something about it. Our system starts feeling, “All right, I’m not doing well in my heart. I need to figure this out, and I need someone. I need to change the relationship. We need to get divorced. I need to do this. I need to do that. I need to have a kid. I need to do something to give meaning to my life because I feel a lack of meaning in my life.” It’s like it's just brilliant. You know, your bones can’t think. They can just hurt.
Unfortunately, your energy body can think. Your mental body can think. It doesn’t just stand like a lump on a log, all right? It starts coming up with answers, doesn’t it? And so it sits there and says, “I need a relationship” or “I need to change my relationship. I need to do something. We need to do something.” To do what? To do what? And the truth of the matter is, when you get to the bottom line of all of it, the answer is I need to get energy from somebody else into me so that I feel whole. And you know what? It works a little bit. That’s the problem. But you know what? So does having her carry you from place to place. You got it? It works a little bit, too. It just has side effects, especially on my ego. It doesn’t work out real well, all right?
And God knows how long the relationship lasts because I doubt that, you know, she really enjoys that thing. At first she seems -- feels needed. But then, it’s a pain in the butt. Believe me, having to carry somebody around. But, the net result is -- the net result is -- I’m lacking and I can take energy from somebody else. You know you can. I can get into the presence of somebody who admires me, somebody who loves me, somebody who respects me, and stand in their presence -- I don’t have to do anything, just be in the presence of someone I know that likes me or loves me -- especially love. Man, that’s -- what does it mean when somebody loves you? Their heart goes out to you. What does that mean? The heart literally comes out? I don’t think so. Doctor! No, that’s not what happens. What happens is, the energy inside of their heart, their chi, their shokti, comes up in their heart, and it overflows. And when it overflows -- can a heart overflow? Look the other way, my heart is so full when I’m around him that it feels like it’s going to burst. My cup runneth over. That’s what that means. So your chi, your shokti comes up in your heart, and it can flow out. And when it flows out, the other person can actually get it. You can actually get a transfusion from somebody else. This is why laying of hands works, why it heals.
This is why prayer works. You’re sending energy out. This is why they say happiness makes healthiness. It does. I’m not knocking this stuff. Don’t get it wrong. I want you to understand the laws, so that you have a right to use them for yourself instead of being at the mercy of them. Somebody else’s energy can and does enter your energy system. And when you are feeling lacking, you can start to feel whole in somebody else’s presence. When you are feeling a lack of love you can feel fulfilled and feel love in somebody else’s presence. The problem with that is as follows -- I’m lonely. I can’t hardly work. I’m having a bad time. But tonight, tonight, I’ll see my love tonight. And tonight – yeah, see? I’m looking forward to it. I can feel, that’s right. It carries me. It carries me through the day. Even the thought of her. Maria… It’s beautiful. Even the thought of it raises the juice inside, doesn’t it? Beautiful stuff. Now, I got into your presence. When I go into your presence, when we’re together, my life is whole. The sun shines. There doesn’t need to be anything else. That sounds so good, but every one of you are older than 12, and so you know that what I’m going to say next is going to happen. Let’s just take it in fast motion. Being in your presence brings love and joy to my heart. You are the sunshine of my life. You bring -- everything’s so -- where are you going? Can I go? Uh oh. Oh. All of a sudden, the “n” word showed up. Nagging needs. The very fact that that transfusion is happening because you need it means you’ve become addicted. Means you’ve become dependent.
Let’s use the psychology words properly. Ever heard of they have a co-dependent relationship, or a one-sided dependent relationship? Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. You become dependent, just like I would become dependent on this young lady carrying me around because I can’t get there elsewhere, just like I would become dependent on transfusions if I’m not doing well with my blood, become dependent on drugs, become dependent on anything. But in our society, if you’re dependent on cocaine to be happy and to get confidence, we say that’s not good. And in our society, if you’re dependent on somebody else to feel love and feel inspired, we say behind every great man is a woman. But behind every drug addict there’s a drug, right? Dependency is dependency. Let’s get that straight. People won’t talk like this. Why? Because they don’t understand the truth, which is that you are whole and complete within yourself. And the only reason you had the need to start with is because you’re blocked. And because you’re blocked, you have a lacking. And if you want to consider it romantic when this drug addict is going through withdrawal and somebody shoots him up – ah… Maria… Like, look how much better he looks. Look how much better he’s doing. That’s not romantic. It’s ridiculous. And if you want to call a romantic somebody who is completely and utterly dysfunctional unless they’re in a relationship with somebody who pays them attention and opens the door for them or cooks the right meal for them or gets all excited when they come home during the day after a hard day, if you want to call that romantic, I’m going to tell you it’s the same thing. How’s that? No one else will tell you that, and will burn the tape. But, net result is it’s almost antisocial to talk this honestly. That is the honest truth.
You are whole and complete within yourself. You do not need anything. You do not need anybody. Now, does that mean you should be antisocial, that there’s something wrong with relationships? That it means that nobody should get married and nobody should have children and -- nobody said that. You want to talk about a healthy relationship? Let’s talk about a healthy relationship. Here’s a healthy relationship. Everywhere I go I feel so filled with love and beauty. Everywhere I see, the world is my family. Anyone I see, I mean child, I see any person, I see any man, I see any woman, I just get so filled with love. It’s so beautiful. I see the sun. It blows me away. I see a tree, it blows me. I see an ant, it blows me away. It is so fulfilling, and it’s so beautiful that I can feel so open that I don’t have to hold back from this flow that’s coming off of me when I’m in your presence because I know you’re that way, too, and you don’t need me. And you’re fine within yourself, so I don’t have to worry about you becoming dependent or having to be in my presence or needing something from me. I can just let this juice flow in your presence. You better be careful when you’ve got juice flowing in other people’s presence, because they like that stuff, and they try to get addicted to it, right? Well, wouldn’t it be beautiful if you were a high being and you were that way and you could be in the presence of at least one other person in the world that didn’t need your energy, and it didn’t bother them or affect them, and you could just let your love light shine in their presence, and you could come when you come and go when you go, and nobody’s clinging and nobody’s holding on and nobody’s saying – can’t I go and you used to do this for me and why don’t you do it now and blah... And there’s a relationship.
Nobody said there’s anything wrong with relationships. They’re beautiful things. They’re places to share your energy. But they’re not places to take energy. They’re not places to need energy, because if you need energy, you do not have a healthy relationship. You have a dependent relationship, and it will be ugly, and you know that. That’s what’s so funny. It will be ugly. It will be ugly. That’s what will take place. There will be times when your energy is flowing a certain way, and that is offensive to the other person because they need when you don’t, and you need when they don’t, and all of a sudden we’re doing this [hitting hands together] and butting heads and doing all this kind of junk. And somebody -- I’ve literally, literally heard people say to other people what does it mean to be in a relationship if you’re not satisfying my needs? I mean, they mean it. They literally mean it. I mean, like, why would I bother? That is how somebody in need thinks and talks. And they mean it. They mean it so deep, they don’t even think anything is wrong with it, because they’ve never seen others in that. And all they know is I’m not doing well inside and why would I not want somebody or something that compensates or takes care of that which is not there. You’re to be there when I need you. People ruin marriage. What is marriage? A license to need. You sign a marriage license and you say okay, that’s it. We’ve agreed to serve each other’s needs. I’m here to serve your needs. That’s it. I’m there to serve your needs. That’s what it means. If you have problems, I’m there and if you have needs, I’m there, and I supposed to satisfy your needs and I’m not satisfying your needs. It bothers me, because I feel you’ll leave me. I feel you’re not happy with me, and it bothers you because I feel your needs are not being satisfied. So now we have a bothered relationship.
Well, no wonder people have so much trouble with relationships. Another person cannot satisfy somebody else’s needs. They can temporarily compensate for them. But if you’re sick, you’re sick. Unless you fix what’s wrong, you’re just going to run around grabbing and taking from other people, and it’s not going to work. Even if you try, if you devoted every minute of your entire life, and you were the most brilliant, giving person that ever lived, you could not satisfy somebody else’s needs. Impossible. Why? You have nothing to do with their needs. Their need is because they have a blockage inside themselves. In a moment, we’ll talk about what caused the blockage. I guarantee you it wasn’t you. They had that blockage before they got into a relationship with you. That’s why they got into the relationship with you, all right? It’s because they need it. And that blockage has roots that go back throughout this entire lifetime. It has nothing to do with you, nothing. So how could you possibly satisfy their needs? And the other aspect of it, which is really fascinating, is that their needs do not stay the same from one day to the next. One day you’ll find they want to be doted. They want everything all over them. They want to be kissed and loved. The next day they want to be left alone. So anything you try to do would not satisfy their needs. You can’t satisfy their needs. It’s almost as though, and I’ll let you decide if you’ve seen this, the need is very deep. It’s due to a blockage. It really can’t be compensated for by borrowed energy from outside.
But they want them, right? They want to get the shot. They want to get the juice. The only thing that gives them the juice is something new, something unexpected. You wore something and it blew them away, or they had a different day and it was -- something happened that wasn’t the same. If you know what I mean, it wasn’t just hum-drum drum drum, same old stuff. It has to be something that shocks the energy in order to open them enough so there’s receptivity to what’s going on. So the exact same thing that you ended up wearing or doing, you know, three weeks ago that didn’t do anything, all of a sudden because of what they saw on TV or what movie they watched or what took place blows them away and they feel -- oh my God, you’re so wonderful. You’re so special, so wonderful, right? If you kept doing that, if you kept serving that meal, if you kept wearing those clothes, if you kept bringing those flowers home, if you kept doing that, I guarantee you it would get old. Everything gets old. That’s why you can’t satisfy somebody else’s needs. Does that mean you shouldn’t serve and take care of people? No. No. You should do all kinds of things. It just means deep underneath, you understand the truth. And the truth is, if you have a problem, you have to fix that problem. Can you help them? Sure you can help them. Maybe that’s a healthy relationship. Instead of helping them compensate for their needs, you work together to work out your problems, you know. Each person works you their own problems with the help of the other person. There, that’s healthy or could be. But that’s not the same as sitting there saying that I’m in this relationship to get my needs satisfied. That’s like saying I’m in this relationship to help work out my problems so that I don’t have needs. That’s a very different relationship, and very few people are in that relationship. You understand that?
There are very few people who think that’s the purpose of a relationship, to go through your own stuff. If I want to go through my own stuff, I’ll do it by myself. That’s how it is you start to understand. And the basis of understanding of this entire thing is to understand there are no needs. Needs are a sign of sickness. And the stronger the need, the sicker it is. And that’s true of everything. And that’s deep, that’s deep yoga, especially if you take it to some area that people think are natural needs. All needs -- and there’s nothing wrong with them -- but all needs, when it’s said and done, if the shakti’s flowing properly, are transmuted into joy. The energy just starts flowing right. And when the energy starts flowing right, there is not a single need inside of you. All you feel is rushes of joy and high and upliftment and so on. And you are whole and complete within yourself. That’s what takes place. It’s a very high state, but at least understand that that is yoga. That is the spiritual path. Does that mean that you don’t get married, that you don’t have sex, that you don’t do this? No, it doesn’t mean any of that. It has nothing to do with that. But that’s the key, that it has nothing to do with that. Right now, you’re making it have something to do with that, because you’re trying to use all of those external things, the external energies, to compensate for what’s wrong with your energy. If you do, you will become dependent. And if you become dependent, you will end up disliking people. You will end up needing people, and need breeds contentment. Do you understand that? Not familiarity. Need.
If you need – the last thing in the world you want is for someone else to need you. You used to think you wanted people to need you. I want to feel needed. You do not want to feel needed. You do not want somebody else to need you. If somebody else needs you, they become dependent upon you. While you have your own problems, you don’t see it as dependency. You see it as a tension. You see it as security. You see it as a feeling of importance. In a very short period of time, when you start to feel a little whole-er(sp) within yourself, now you’re feeling more confident. You want to go out and do some things, to express yourself. You won’t be able to, because somebody needs you. Wait, I need you to be here. That’s what need means. I need you to do this. I need you to be here. I need you to pay more attention to me. I need you to not go out and do this. Take me with you. Blah… And the next thing you know, that which was lifting you up, it will hold you down and it will do it every single time and there are no exceptions. It’s almost as though it’s guaranteed to fail. I’m insecure so I’m clinging to you. It worked. It worked. My God, you put so much attention into me. You doted. I feel much more secure. What does that mean? That’s a major change. Somebody who is totally insecure and needs to be holding onto somebody else has now felt much more secure. Well, if you feel much more secure, you don’t need to be clinging, do you? You don’t need to be holding on to anybody else. Now that you feel more secure you want to spread your wings a little bit, don’t you? All right, you want to go and experiment, express, and do different things that open up your energy. But the other person is so used to you being there all the time and taking them with you and being dependent and asking them all the time about their opinion and what’s happening. The relationship was very different before. So the relationship evolved, not devolved. The relationship evolved. But if one person evolves more than somebody else, you’re in big trouble. And there’s no way in the world you’re evolving.
Now can you see why relationships are so complicated? They’re complicated because they’re really deep. And they’re really complicated and really deep because of what you’re doing. Because what you’re attempting to do is use the other person to compensate for what’s missing inside of you. Don’t do it. But I’m telling you, that does not mean we abandon our relationships. It has nothing to do with that. It’s all about what you’re doing. Maybe you have relations, maybe you don’t. It doesn’t matter. What matters is what you’re doing. And you come all the way back to the beginning, the foundation of this conversation, which is -- energy gets blocked. And when the energy is blocked, you feel hollowness. You feel lacking. You feel need. You feel drive – even drives and urges are not natural. Drives and urges are –- and real drives –- okay, there are strong drives and urges and needs and all that kind of stuff are equivalent to sticking metal inside of a socket. All of a sudden that very quiet electricity that was just minding its own business and just flowing, you know it’s always flowing. There’s always power in that outlet. Go stick some metal in it. A short circuit is what lets you see the energy is in balance.
Ever feel short circuited inside? That’s what that is. Stop calling it a need. It’s a sickness, a disturbance, a blockage. So the hollowness is that. The angry energies are that. Everything shy of high, and you know how I mean, so everything shy of, “Whoo, I’m doing great, right? I’m doing great. It’s just beautiful. It’s beautiful. It’s unbelievable. I’m challenged. I’m stimulated. My juice is flowing. I’m enjoying every second. I’m enjoying my problems. I’m enjoying my successes. I’m enjoying every bit of what is going on. I am high.” That’s the energy flowing. So you get back to realizing that you can negate nagging needs. But the problem is, the way we try to negate them is by suppressing them. Even if we catch on that needs are a problem, you feel more dependent now than when we first started. You want more space. Okay, I know I better give it to you. I know I’m insecure and the relationship will break up so I start suppressing my needs. But I need to be with you. I need to spend more time with you. Why don’t you come home early? Whatever the heck it is. Well, I know you want me to be like that, so I start suppressing that. And that’s how we try to negate nagging needs. Well, blockages don’t work. Compensation for blockage doesn’t work. And suppression doesn’t work. Believe me, suppression does not work. You might, periodically -– let’s be mature -– if you have energy that are really disturbing inside, and you have nothing else you can do with them, you might have to hold them a little bit rather than throwing something at somebody. If you really want to pick up that frying pan and throw it, you might just have to suppress those urges. Do it. Better than throwing the frying pan. But be conscious, totally conscious and in control of what you’re doing.
Do not ever keep those energies down. If you ever push energy down, let it up. You better find a way to go out in the woods and yell or run or do something. But consciously release the energy that you temporarily held so that you didn’t become over indulged in energies. Suppression does not work. Suppression is an extremely sick thing to do, and sitting there pushing these energies down that are coming up because you don’t feel whole and complete, is complicating the situation, not solving. It’s equivalent to the fact that I don’t want to be weak, and I don’t want to limp, and I don’t want her carrying me, so I ain’t limping. She ain’t gonna see me limp. She ain’t gonna have to do nothing for me. I’ll carry her. You’re going to lose your leg. No good things are going to come out of that if there’s really something wrong with your leg. That’s suppression. That’s what suppression does. It can never do any good to sit there and push back down the energies that are stimulated because you’re blocked. It just complicates the issue. So what’s your choice? It’s pretty complicated and it’s pretty neat, isn’t it? That energy body is something else. You don’t even know you have one, not to mention how to drive. It’s like you’re in a car going 7,000 miles an hour and you don’t even know you’re in a car. You’re bumping into shit, all kinds of things going on. Hello? What? What? You’re like half asleep. Hey, you’re in a car. There’s a steering wheel. There’s a gas pedal. There’s a brake. That’s how you understand your energy body. You are inside of this energy body and everything you feel, all your urges, all your drives, all your needs, all your lacking, all your depressions, that is your energy body. And don’t you dare tell me that’s not running your life. That’s what runs your life, isn’t it?
All right, what’s going on in your energy body? You will behave and interact and you will like and dislike in accordance to what is going on in your energy body. So eventually you wake up. How do you wake up? One step back, turn around. Turn around, take one step back. Simon says. You step back and you start noticing you have an energy body. And you stop being involved in it so much. If your heart feels hollow, you say, "Oh, I must be dependent." If you feel all these drives and urges and disturbances go on -– short circuit again. Look at this juice. Okay, kind of neat. And you learn to sit comfortably inside of the car. You learn that you’re in a car –- energy body.
You learn that you’re in an energy body. You learn to feel what it feels like to be inside of an energy body. And you learn to be able to withstand, to sit in the presence of, the different shifts of energy that takes place inside of you. That’s a big step for people, isn’t it? Instead of running out there and trying to compensate or blaming people that your energy body is that way, there is no shame, there is no blame, there is not attempted compensation, there is just awareness of what it means to be sitting inside of this thing, which is a pretty dynamic thing, isn’t it? You can sit in there. Why can’t you? You’re just sitting in there. Just sitting in there, you know? I’ll just quit, or I’ll just leave, or I’ll just –- don’t. Don’t let your mind try to compensate for your energy body. That’s another trap, too. Just relax. Relax in the presence of whatever it is your energy body is going through. What will happen? One, you won’t be in a codependent relationship with the people around you, right, because you will have dealt with your problem at the starting point. And then second, you will notice –- why is it so weird in here? It is weird in here. Why is it so weird in here? That’s what happens when you just watch instead of trying to fix what can’t be fixed from outside. You just sit in there and you realize there’s something underneath all of this. It’s like you’re watching the rapids, the water flows down a river, and it gets rapids, it gets swirls and all kinds of things. And you used to try to have it –- you stuck your hand in it and tried to iron it out and you were upset whenever it swirled. Well, okay, while you’re doing that, that’s what you’ll do for the rest of your life is fight the natural forces that cause the swirls. Then all of a sudden, somebody shows up -- the master, or at least the disciple, who is not touching the water. They’re not doing anything. They’re noticing and watching the behavior of the swirls and the currents and the rapids.
The day that you’re able to do that, you know what will happen? You will notice at some point - that is a rock underneath the surface, right at the place the swirl is taking place. I wonder if that rock is causing the swirl? Now, you don’t just throw yourself around in the water. You stick your hands in. It’s hard. You withstand the tendency to try and be upset by the swirl, and you remove the rock. And the swirl goes away. Oh my God, look at that. That swirl was there every since I was little. That’s like, wow. That swirl was caused by that rock. And you just realize that underneath the energy body you’ve been dealing with, there’s these causes. There’s this underlying structure. And it is the chi, the shokti, flowing through that underlying structure that manifests as your energy body. Your energy body, your aura, is a result, not a cause –- well, of course it’s a cause. Everything goes on past that, right? But it is a result, and what it’s a result of is the blockages and the paths and patterns that are carved underneath through which the chi flows. And then it causes this manifestation of a particular way of being. So you get upset when you see this and you get turned on when you see that and you get turned off when that happens. And we’re all different, because we all have different carved patterns underneath. That’s the start of your spiritual journey.
Now you understand what deep means? He’s really deep. He’s a deep being. You’re working at a deeper level. You’re not working at the surface level, trying to get people, places and things. You’re not working even inside, trying to work with your psychology, you know, and not have these energies, and suppress, and hold together, and do this, and use affirmation. Just do something to make the energy a little nicer. You’re deep. You’re deep. You’re working at a very deep level. That’s what happens when you start to work with the blockages themselves instead of the result of the blockages, or compensating for the result of the blockages. God, I hope you got that. There it is in one line. You decide what level you want to work at. Drown me in the shallow waters before I get too deep. Wasn’t that somebody’s song, all right? No. No way, because that’s what you’ll do is drown. You do not want to drown in the shallow waters before you get too deep. You want to go very deep, very deep. That is the only place a solution exists is underneath you, nobody else. Now what happens? All of the attention, all of the energy, all of the consciousness, all of the struggle, all of the awareness, all of that that used to go at trying to compensate for the energy that are out of balance, is now every minute of your life, focused on seeing the rock. It’s just focused on seeing, seeing, seeing. You’re just a seeing being. It is conscious and aware. How do I remove the rocks? It is so beautiful. It is so beautiful that my mouth goes dry to even tell you the answer to that beautiful question. You don’t. I don’t? No, you don’t. What you will find out very soon, if you watch this very carefully, is those rocks are there for one reason. You’re holding them there. The stream of shokti flow will wash away in one moment, in one second, every blockage that is inside of you, if you stop holding those blockages inside of you. So it’s not that the rock is down there and the water is disturbed and you’re going to go down there and take the rock out. When you go to stick your left -– right hand -– left hand in to take the rock out, you’re going to hit something -– your right hand that’s holding the rock there. There’s nothing that stays inside your energy flow by itself. It doesn’t have the ability. There are no hooks. It is your energy, your intention, your will, your chi, your conscious force. Just like I told you don’t suppress - what’s in there today is what you suppressed yesterday. But yesterday was all the way back. It is your energy that’s holding these things in there. They will not stay in there by themselves. Therefore, it is not that you go in there and try to take it out. You practice letting go.
Letting go of what? No. No. Wrong question. Wrong. Just letting go. It is not that you find what you’re holding on to so that you can let it go. You just take a step back inside, you withdraw your chi from down there back to its center, and it all falls off. Your energy must go down to that level in order to hold it together. If you center your energy back in the witness, in the self, in the being, these other things will just fall off. They just fall off. They shed like the skin off the snake. That’s how deep this path is. As those things fall, the swirls stop and you start feeling peace where you felt disturbance. You start feeling wholeness and completeness where you felt need and lacking. You start feeling love where you felt hate. You start feeling the ability to give where you used to take. Why not? You’re whole. All of those other things are what you were doing because you weren’t whole. You would never dislike or hate anybody unless you needed something from them. What do they say, you only hurt the one you love? You don’t bother hating people you don’t even know or care about. It’s when you need something and people are not taking care of that aura or disturbing your ability to get your needs, and you feel hate. It’s the same disturbed energy that’s turned back on itself that creates all these disturbances. So eventually you will get to the point of seeing that you’re entire life, including your relationships, are very, very holey. Everything, your work, your relationships, all your interactions at every level are very holey, whatever they are. Why? Because if you are working on letting go, they give you an opportunity, all right? They will under all conditions show you where you haven’t let go yet, won’t they?
You want to see where you haven’t let go yet? Just pay attention to your interpersonal interaction with other human beings. It doesn’t have to be a personal relationship. It could just be a normal, everyday relationship. It doesn’t make any difference. You’re going to see where you haven’t let go yet, aren’t you? You walk into a 7/11 to a person you’ve never met behind that corner, and find where you haven’t let go yet. It’s so funny. You’re just feeling self conscious or this or that, you just -– whatever the heck -– afraid to ask a question to who the heck knows, to somebody you don’t even know, who you’ll never see again in the rest of your life. And you’re that way, aren’t you? You just honestly look and see how blocked you are. Those blockages need to go. And the way they go is by just letting go constantly. So any time any thing creates a disturbance, it’s your friend, not your foe. It’s showing you where you’re still blocked. What do I do if I start to get disturbed? You let go. You let go. Let go of the person outside and the relationship because I can’t handle -– no, it has nothing to do with the person outside or the situation or the place. It has to do with you being willing to let go instead of struggle. And you just relax your heart and release your shoulders and you don’t invest your energy where it used to go. And over time, and it does take time, this stuff will go and you will start to become who you are, which is an extremely beautiful being who needs nothing from anybody, but has the natural tendency to give. When you’re whole and complete, all you do is give. They don’t even call it giving.
A flower, when it blossoms and opens up in the morning does not think, oh, I think I’ll give to the people that are walking by. It is its natural tendency to open. It doesn’t need to take. It’s healthy. It opens. Your heart will open to everything and everyone, no matter what they do to you, no matter what they say, nothing will close you anymore. Why? If you don’t need anything, then nothing can bother you. Things bother you because you have need, and they’re going to interfere with your ability to get it. If you don’t need, nothing matters. This is what it means to transcend. So, there, negating nagging needs. Can you? Yes. Can you? Yes. Your ego says no. Your psyche says I’m not there yet. I can’t do that. I’m not ready yet. I can’t do that. That’s B.S. That is not the truth. Of course you can’t do it all at once. It won’t come up all at once. It’s not doing that. All it’s asked is every day a piece will want to come up. You raise your hand and say well how will I know what piece? You’ll know, won’t you? That’s the problem is that you’ll know. You’ll feel it. You’ll feel it. You’ll feel something wrong. You’ll feel a lacking. You’ll feel a disturbance. You’ll feel something bothering you. Good. That’s the piece that needs to let go today.
What do you do? Relax and release through it. But I won’t -– my life will be over. Oh, it makes such a melodrama, right? I won’t get what I need and I’ll never be happy and oh my God, what will I do? It’ll go just like that. And you’ll say oh, that’s exactly the way it used to go. It’s a little melodrama maker that thinks it has to run it’s life and it won’t be okay unless it gets everything. You don’t need anything. That’s your mantra. I am whole and complete within myself. But I’m not a rock. The ending is so subtle, it’s so beautiful. I’m not pushing it away, but nor am I pulling it. I’m just letting go of whatever comes up. And over time, you become the most beautiful thing there is on this Earth, a whole being. And a whole being is a rarity. Isn’t that funny that health becomes a rarity? You’re a rarity. You have a psyche that’s not bothering you. How would you like to have a psyche that’s not bothering you all day? Whoa. That’s something serious, isn’t it? Well, that’s all that health means -– you’ve got a body that’s not bothering you. You should have a body that’s not bothering you. And you should have a psyche that’s not bothering you. Work with these things. Nobody else will tell you this. It’s like antisocial, illegal to talk like this, but it’s the truth. And you will be a better father, you will be a better mother, and you’ll be a better husband, you’ll be a better wife, and you’ll be a better non-husband, a better non-wife, and a better non-father and a better non-mother. Do you understand that? It doesn’t matter. What matters is how are you doing. And today the answer is wonderful. I mean, wonderful. Yeah, why? No reason, just doing wonderful. It’s fun.
#### End of Negating Nagging Needs-mp3 ####
No comments:
Post a Comment